One day or day 1?
The morning after the day before. How was it for you? If you drank you may be feeling all kinds of emotions. Maybe you drank after a short period aff it or maybe you broke a long spell of sobriety or maybe you drank more than you had planned to and now you are regretting that. If so, you’re in the right place.
Don’t drink again, I know some of you might be thinking it’ll take the edge off but all you are doing is prolonging the hangover and all the other grim things that come with that. I’d suggest getting rid of any alcohol left in the house and start hydrating yourself. Drink a glass of water each hour and try to eat something.
Day 1 or 1 day. Many people come to me and talk about hoping to moderate even though they have tried to for years and it's never worked - why do you think it's going to now? I highly recommend having a good few weeks off to figure out what it is you want from alcohol but more importantly - what do you want from life? Cause I am guessing it ain't the fear, acid reflux, the family not speaking to you and a big memory blackout that you are sweating buckets trying to fill in the blanks….
For some of you there may be people that you need to apologise to, and I will pop my mum hat on here to say the best apology is changed behaviour. Today, start by looking after yourself. Ask, what can I do to care for me today? That will look different for different people. But I’d say get the house tidied, get showered and fresh pjs on and rest well. Further on in this article I will give some things for you to journal on or think over. If you need to make apologies why not do the work in this blog then write some texts up in the notes on your phone and return to them tomorrow when you’ve had a good night's sleep and see if they need any adjustments and send them. If you need to apologise to someone you live with go ahead and do it then show them you mean business by sorting your shit out. Often the biggest shifts happen when we finally get fed up with our own shit, this is a beautiful day to sort your shit out.
Over the past few weeks I have had numerous people message me to tell me that they are really upset or ashamed at how they behaved when they drank. Worried about going back to work or seeing friends or family members again. Life doesn’t need to be this way, by taking drink off the table, literally and figuratively, you no longer have to worry about drunken behaviour. But to so many that feels like a terrifying thought. If that’s you I ask you to get clear on why alcohol is so important to you that you are willing to feel this way again and again. The drink is a sneaky wee fecker. Sometimes you drink and are totally fine, other times you drink the same amount and it all goes sideways. It’s alcohol russian roulette. Journal prompts - What value does alcohol bring to your life? How does alcohol negatively impact your life? Are you thinking that never drinking again seems really daunting? If so, just focus on today, then the next day. Maybe until the end of January then ask yourself those journal prompts again.
Here is some more work that will really help. Each day you don’t drink, take a few moments to write down your reasons why you are taking a break, they may start something like - I am sick of hangovers, I spend too much money, I want to prove I can do this. They can also be positive reasons like, I feel less tired, I am saving money, I am proud of myself. Each day write at least 5 things you are grateful for. Make them specific to the day before. Make at least one you are grateful to you for eg - I am grateful I had an early night as I feel rested or I am grateful I ate well yesterday and at least one for why you are grateful you didn’t drink.
Who are you when you don’t drink, what are your interests? What do you value? Make this a lil project, this isn’t about not drinking but about you living a life you love and are proud of. I do this work with my clients, aye most of them come to me as they are finally fed up with the bevy but we focus on way more than that. So, get clear on all the things that bring you joy and that you are proud of. Then make plans to do more of it. If you are sitting there thinking, I have no idea what I like doing. Look way back to before you drank, when you were younger, what did you enjoy then. For me it was reading, writing, being at the seaside, making playlists, helping others, baking and riding my bike. All things I love doing now.
Immerse yourself or revisit quit lit and sober podcasts. I have a few podcasts I have been on in the link in our SoberBuzz instagram bio. My favourite books are Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, Quit Like a Woman and (not sobriety related) You are a Badass which I read when I first stopped and have re-read it many times since. Follow the # #soberbuzz #sobercurious #soberscotland connect with the sober community online, get chatting and make new friends.
The next week is going to look very different for ya, you might even hear folk tell you that you weren’t that bad or that you should just drink less (all totally unhelpful!) you need to be prepared to stick to your plans. Remember your why’s, make plans to do things that bring you joy and pride. Make your New Year celebrations about the 1st of January (I swear waking fresh on January 1st is one of my favourite things EVER!!) rather than a boozy Hogmanay. Decide who knows what, I often find that in early sobriety a private life is a happy life. The less people you have to explain yourself to the better. Also, if nothing changes nothing changes so don’t expect to go to a party on Hogmanay and somehow manage it sober. Remember why you first started reading this, you don’t want to experience another hangover and all the hell it brings. Is it really too much of a loss to miss out on a boozy night? My clients tell me that when they think about not drinking they can think of particular people who will have something unhelpful to say, you might want to take some time to think about what you will tell them, if you will be seeing them over the coming week and just remember, in under a week its 2024 - how do you want to go into the New Year? January is the perfect time not to drink, dry January is huge now and social media will be full of great advice and motivation too.
I hope this has been helpful and remember, shaming ourselves rarely allows for positive change. You know you want things to be different and you know how to make a start on that. Choose self compassion instead, what have you got to lose! Big love, Kirsty x
